Errata is a web journal written by Robert Davis who has neither spent a night in a ghost town nor pulled a turnip from the earth. He doesn't even know if turnips grow in the ground. Perhaps on trees, like candy corn. Therefore, Errata is a non-commercial project.

Observation #1: It may be appropriate, when leaving a movie theater, to say "mysterious."

Observation #2: It may be appropriate, when leaving a movie theater, to say "mysterious" at the top of your lungs. Bring your eyebrows together before you say it. Effective!

Observation #3: Same for books. Even at libraries.

There is a prize for people who correctly guess the thing about Metropolis, Nevada.

Except where the text specifically states otherwise, Errata's vagaries are indicated vaguely and its authors are indistinct in the traditional way of the Internet, except where the authors lay claim to their work. In some cases Robert Davis lays claim to work that is not his own but has been abandoned like so many ghost towns. Except where held presently, fistfuls of dirt are suspended via dispersal, or dispersed via suspension (in the air), and thus their dissolution is their transcendence, or their transcendence is their dissolution. And yet our eyes tear, and our vision is impaired, demonstrating for the umpteenth time that one entity's gain is another's fit of sneezes. Except where indicated, storms shall outlive the clay upon which they rain, unless storms are improperly delimited by their clouds, which dissolve, rather than by their inevitable return. Thus the clay loses, unless the clay is said to own the storm, to use it to make itself heavy, to make itself cling to white garments, refuse dispersal, cake upon the facades of abandoned buildings, and sit like Man [sic] upon the earth where it is pelted by a storm that it owns. In which case the clay still loses, if you ask us.

Some of the above is legally binding and should be considered a mental contract between Errata and those upon whom it acts. The bit about the prize should be considered an overstatement insofar as prizes differ from dirt and prize dispersal differs from dirt dispersal. Please recall that ownership is a weight and, therefore, hope that you do not win the prize.

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You may contact Robert Davis by email unless it's about the rock that was thrown in anger. The rock is more properly called a clod. Why do you continue to raise the topic?

2 April 2004

Shaolin Soccer

Siu lam juk kau

2001, Hong Kong

director: Stephen Chow

In Shaolin Soccer, writer, director, and star Stephen Chow plays a down-on-his-luck kung fu master who wishes people would make martial arts a bigger part of their daily lives. For example, it could be used to park cars or to avoid slipping on a banana peel. But he can't manage to get the word out. He's tried singing about it, but music is too subjective. Then he hits upon a brilliant idea: he rounds up a bunch of other failed masters and places them, along with their gravity-defying skills, on a soccer field. Together they form a ragtag team of underdogs who have to use their shaolin arts to defeat the reigning champions who are also — need it be said? — evil. It's silly, and the digital effects that enhance the slapstick are primitive, but Shaolin Soccer so deliriously riffs on everything from The Bad News Bears to Jurassic Park, from super heroes to break dancing, that it's hard not to get caught up in the goofy fun. Just when you think it's going to get bogged down with plot or sentimentality, it moves on to the next joke, quick and funny throughout.

This review also appears in print in Paste Magazine #11, August/September 2004.

Posted by davis | Link

Reader Comments

February 13, 2005, 12:33 AM

Hi Stephen Chow!
How are you now? We do hope you are fine and safe. Me and my friends are have watched your latest movie. The "KUNG FU HUSTLE".We are so impressed and really knock out on the action scenes! Men, that movie is so cool and we are so satisfied.May we request you if you are making another new movie, can you make a style like in the asia`s # 1 cartoon movie "DRAGON BALL Z". We do wanted you to play the role of GOCKOU in that movie.Please.. Please... include also the powers just like in your SHOULIN SOCCER and KUNG FU HUSTLE.Please.. Stephen, we hope that you will grant our request.. You were our idol in terms of action movies! Always remember we are here ready to support your upcoming films anytime! The Filipino really loves you! Take care our star! Bye! God Bless. --AJ

April 12, 2005, 11:39 PM

davis

Thanks, AJ. I'll think about it. Did you like my movie God of Cookery? I probably let it run a little long, you know, but I put some really good moves and effects into those competition cooking scenes.

Also, I usually go by "davis" when I write on this site. Please, let's keep my true identity as quiet as possible. Thanks yo.

December 22, 2007, 09:23 AM

umar faruk aliyu

How are you now? We do hope you are fine and safe. Me and my friends are have watched your latest movie. The "KUNG FU HUSTLE".We are so impressed and really knock out on the action scenes! Men, that movie is so cool and we are so satisfied.May we request you if you are making another new movie, can you make a style like another movie which ecxataly with this one

December 22, 2007, 09:54 AM

davis

Repeat myself? Never. Never!

May 14, 2008, 04:59 AM

Niranjan

I liked the shaolin movies in which is comedy film but I want to read all conversation of the film because reading conversation is impressive and easy to learn of communication for me so please send me the files of conversation of every actors and actress each other from start to end.

May 14, 2008, 07:33 AM

davis

I don't have the dialogue in electronic form, otherwise I'd surely post it / paste it right here, post haste.

May 16, 2008, 05:12 PM

davis

I asked my secretary to transcribe the English subtitles for Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle. He refused, so now I have a new secretary. Fans come first. Enjoy.

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