Errata is a web journal written by Robert Davis who has neither spent a night in a ghost town nor pulled a turnip from the earth. He doesn't even know if turnips grow in the ground. Perhaps on trees, like candy corn. Therefore, Errata is a non-commercial project.

Observation #1: It may be appropriate, when leaving a movie theater, to say "mysterious."

Observation #2: It may be appropriate, when leaving a movie theater, to say "mysterious" at the top of your lungs. Bring your eyebrows together before you say it. Effective!

Observation #3: Same for books. Even at libraries.

There is a prize for people who correctly guess the thing about Metropolis, Nevada.

Except where the text specifically states otherwise, Errata's vagaries are indicated vaguely and its authors are indistinct in the traditional way of the Internet, except where the authors lay claim to their work. In some cases Robert Davis lays claim to work that is not his own but has been abandoned like so many ghost towns. Except where held presently, fistfuls of dirt are suspended via dispersal, or dispersed via suspension (in the air), and thus their dissolution is their transcendence, or their transcendence is their dissolution. And yet our eyes tear, and our vision is impaired, demonstrating for the umpteenth time that one entity's gain is another's fit of sneezes. Except where indicated, storms shall outlive the clay upon which they rain, unless storms are improperly delimited by their clouds, which dissolve, rather than by their inevitable return. Thus the clay loses, unless the clay is said to own the storm, to use it to make itself heavy, to make itself cling to white garments, refuse dispersal, cake upon the facades of abandoned buildings, and sit like Man [sic] upon the earth where it is pelted by a storm that it owns. In which case the clay still loses, if you ask us.

Some of the above is legally binding and should be considered a mental contract between Errata and those upon whom it acts. The bit about the prize should be considered an overstatement insofar as prizes differ from dirt and prize dispersal differs from dirt dispersal. Please recall that ownership is a weight and, therefore, hope that you do not win the prize.

One day Errata or its representatives will call upon you for a favor. It is expected that you will hop-to without delay.

You may contact Robert Davis by email unless it's about the rock that was thrown in anger. The rock is more properly called a clod. Why do you continue to raise the topic?

26 July 2004

Web site repairs hindered by cinephilia

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apology

We would like to apologize for this site's recent downtime and would like to relay a piece of valuable advice: where possible, avoid hiring a cinephile to maintain your web site. When we asked our administrator why our site was down, he said, "Shh. I am smoking." And he was. "You cannot treat me like one of the factory workers in Modern Times," he told us when we pointed at our blank screens. "You are acting like Lee Marvin in Point Blank," he told us when we said "404 Not Found" in unison. 404! Not Found!

and so

After we exhausted all of the entries in the Cinephile Yellow Pages (we may not renew our subscription when August 2007 rolls around) we resorted to more traditional means to find a tech worker who would not discuss the MacGuffins in our code, ask repeatedly whether the problem was with focus or framing, decry our use of video ("This is not celluloid. I can do nothing."), and drone endlessly about the chiaroscuro lighting in our server room. The guy who brought us back up said only, "There," and later added something about Apache pearls, but we don't think it was a Marxist rant nor an anti-American reference to the history of Manhattan, so we will call him back if things snap again. We apologize for this lapse.

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